Who is watching your blindspot?

This is the rough draft of Pastor Steve’s message from the fourth week of “Rooted” on October 13, 2019. You can also watch the message here. We hope you find this helpful as you pursue your next steps in Christ

Several months ago my son drove home after picking up the kids at school and I noticed something wrong with the van.  The driver’s side mirror was broken. The entire casing for the mirror was still there, but the mirror was completely gone.  So I said, “son, what happened?” He said, “someone clipped my mirror in the parking lot and must have driven off. I came out, and the mirror was shattered all over the ground.”   Frustrating hunh?

So, we had a van for quite a while that we couldn’t see fully on our left side.  Now, we all know that we have a blindspot we can’t see with our mirrors, right? We have to be looking over our shoulder into that blindspot and we have to also be looking at those mirrors.  That makes for safe driving and helps us not hit someone. Well, with that mirror missing, I found driving more challenging. It took my blindspot and made it even bigger. Blindspots are already challenging and dangerous and this just magnified it.  

That driving experience reminds me of what we often do in life.  We go through life with huge blind spots that we aren’t aware of or that we can’t see.  Let’s just establish this fact. We all have blind spots.  There are gaps in our lives that we don’t see.  For some of us, it’s a blind spot in our integrity.   Maybe it’s a blind spot in our dating life. There is a huge blind spot in how we parent our teenagers.  And if we are not careful, just like in a vehicle, there is a real possibility of getting into an accident and someone or something in our lives getting hurt.  

Today we are dropping back into a series called Rooted.  The central idea with this series is this; Rooted people last.  People rooted deeply in their faith in Christ make it.  They make it In life. In marriage. In business. In parenting.  In the difficulties of life. People who take care of their relationship with Christ and feed those roots of faith last when life gets challenging.  And we have talked about some very tangible things that we can do to be more rooted and to last more in our lives. What grows deeper roots in Christ?  Community.  

Last week we built a pretty good case that we can’t do this thing called life without others.  We can’t truly grow deep in our faith without the connection of others. It’s the way God created us and wired us.  

“If you claim to have connected with God but are disconnected from people, you haven’t connected with God. God will never lead you on a journey that leads to isolation.”- Erwin McManus

Faith, although personal and private, was never meant to be lived alone.  In fact, in the context of how we’ve started this day, I would say community is necessary if we are ever able to overcome our blind spots.  

There are so many engaging stories in scripture that deal with community and that deal with this blindspot challenge.  One of these stories involves three leaders. First of all, we have Solomon. Solomon was an extremely wise leader who led God’s people and who followed God very closely for a greater part of his life.  However, later in life he walked away from God and made some really bad decisions in his own personal life and how he lead God’s people. God tells Solomon that because of his rebellion, his kingdom will facture.  Solomon dies, and it starts to happen just as God said Two key leaders come into play at that point. Part of the kingdom follows a guy by the name of Jereboam and another part of the kingdom follows Solomon’s son named Rehoboam.  

Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all Israel had gone there to make him king. 2 When Jeroboam son of Nebat heard this (he was in Egypt, where he had fled from King Solomon), he returned from Egypt.  2 Chronicles 10:1-2

Rehoboam, Solomon’s son is about to become king.  That news brings Jeroboam back from being out of town.  

So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and all Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: 4 “Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.”  2 Chronicles 10:3-4

Here we get a peek into what was happening in the latter days of Solomon’s leadership.  God’s people, Israel, were feeling pressured and overtaxed. So, they speak up. “If you lighten things up, you have our loyalty. 

Rehoboam answered, “Come back to me in three days.” So the people went away.  2 Chronicles 10:5

He wants to think about it.  It sounds like wisdom to me.   What happens next?  

Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked.  7 They replied, “If you will be kind to these people and please them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.”  2 Chronicles 10:6-7

Do things differently than your dad.  Your dad had some blind spots and one of his blind spots was how he treated his people.  He put so much pressure on them. He put huge tax burdens on them and our people have been hurting for so long.  So our advice, be kinder. Here is our best counsel relieve some of that pressure and here is what we believe. If you do that, God’s people will follow you.  They will be faithful and loyal to you.  

But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him..2 Chronicles 10:8

In the big picture of Rehoboam’s life, this decision is a defining moment.  I believe this rejection shows us that he too has a blind spot. Now, we aren’t given the privilege of knowing what that blind spot specifically was but we can make a pretty good guess on what happens later. It could have been his thirst, for a position, for power or pride. Or maybe a combination of all of those.  But it is this blind spot that will hurt him and his people.  

But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 9 He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?”  2 Chronicles 10:8-9 

They said, “tell them this.  You think my dad was tough, well, I’m tougher.  I’m harder. I’m stronger. You watch.”    

Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to Rehoboam, as the king had said, “Come back to me in three days.” 13 The king answered them harshly. Rejecting the advice of the elders, 14 he followed the advice of the young men and said, “My father made your yoke heavy; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.” 15 So the king did not listen to the people, for this turn of events was from God, 2 Chronicles 10:12-15

Rehoboam was a man who loved God, but like us, he was deeply flawed.  Like us, he had blindspots that he didn’t want to see. And this decision right here splits the kingdom of Israel.   Part of Israel follows Jeroboam and part of the kingdom follows Rehoboam even with this harsh response. History shows us that Israel would never be the same again.  In fact, just a few chapters over, Rehoboam starts walking away from God and leads his people down a very dangerous path in their lives. And the consequences are horrible.      

So, as we look at this story and our own lives, where do we go from here?  Community is the solution for our blind spots.  Community is THE answer.   Community is WHAT God created you for.   Think about it. There is no way you can see the 360 degrees of your life.  No way. God didn’t create us so that we could see every angle of our lives.  However, he gives us others to help us do that. He gives us others to see what we can’t see.  

How?  To challenge us on gaps in our character.  To warn us of dangers we can’t see. In Rehoboam’s life, he had two groups of people.  People who saw the blindspots and tried to help him. Another group who didn’t care about those blind spots and told him what he wanted to hear.  We have to put ourselves in a place where we have a group of people who love and who are wise, like the first group that spoke to Rehoboam. We have to find those people who will love us and who expose our blind spots.  We have to draw people in who will stand with us in those gaps and help us grow. You are not the answer to your blind spots. Community is the gift God gave.

So, how?  What does that look like?  Let’s look at some of the key factors in community. One, It takes time.  Community does not happen overnight.  There is no microwave, drive-thru, one-day amazon prime way to do community.  If you want to experience a life-changing relationship through Jesus Christ, then you need community.   Is it possible that we have his gap in our lives because we try to rush it? Because we give up too early?  We must recognize that blindspot protection comes over long periods of time in relationship.   

Two, It requires permission. This is an element that is worth a lot of time, but for now, let me just state the key idea. We don’t self appoint ourselves to read someone else’s blindspots.  Have you had that happen? I had a guy in my life, early on, after every message, that came up and told me what I needed to do better. Now maybe he was right, but I never invited him into that role; he invited himself.  There was no time or relational investment from him into my life. He just self-appointed. Has that ever happened to you? It is not our job to nominate ourselves into that role. In fact, if we sit off to the side and tell others what we think they should do; that’s gossip.  If we give our advice about them to others, that’s called disunity; not community!      

Three, It leads you outside of your comfort zone.  When you really find a group of people that love you and you love back, you are going to venture into some uncomfortable territory.  Why? On some level, we are all difficult. That is the nature of humanity. On some level, we all are a bit messy. So, if we come together for the mutual benefit of growing, of being more like Jesus, don’t you think we are going to have come face to face with that messiness?  Yes. That’s called spiritual growth and it takes us to places that are outside of our comfort zone.  

Paul was constantly talking with NT Christians reminding them of who they were in Christ.  And because of who they were in Christ, he was also constantly giving the guidelines on how to do life together.  Here’s an example.    

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood...  Ephesians 4:25

There is no room for dishonesty in community.  There is no room for going negative about them.        

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, Ephesians 4:25

Instead, be truth-tellers.  Jesus is the truth and we are called to walk in truth.  Practically speaking, what does that look like? For you, A types, be careful when you speak the truth that you don’t go too far.  It’s too easy to come off too direct and too abrasive. Passion without empathy is just plain insensitive and it does not honor Jesus.  For those of you who are B types, you have to be bolder in speaking truth. It’s too easy for you to not be direct and to be more of a people-pleasers.  Speaking truthfully freaks you out. Yet, if you don’t step more into the area of truth-telling, that reveals an immaturity and it too does not honor Jesus.   

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  Ephesians 4:25

When you followed Jesus, you became a part of God’s family.   This is how God’s family does life. They put off anything that is inauthentic. They walk in truth. They do this so that we may grow and be more like Jesus.  

My daughter Ellie, she has a good sense of what her dad should wear and what her dad shouldn’t wear.  You need people like that in your life right? I sit in all kinds of public places and I see people walking in with some of the strangest, or tightest or oddest looking clothes.  I wonder sometimes, “did you look in the mirror before you left?” I mean really? There is no one in your life that stopped you before you walked out the door and said, “I really wouldn’t wear that today.”  Ellie has become that for her dad. I want to make sure things match or things don’t clash or if it looks worn out.  

I don’t ask my boys, because they tell me I look dumb no matter what I wear.  Ellie will say, “yeah dad, looks good. It matches. I like that shirt.” But she’s also said, “no dad, don’t wear that.  It’s too tight. It’s too old. Didn’t you see that hole? No, it has a stain. I don’t like that color.” She sees things I can’t see.  And honestly, sometimes it frustrates me. Because I like that shirt or I like the way it feels. Now, it’s just clothing but sometimes her challenge makes me uncomfortable.  I’ve learned, over time, that I need that for what I wear.

That experience got me thinking.  Isn’t that what we need in life? Don’t we need those kinds of people in how we are leading?  How we treat others and speak to them? How we parent or spend our money? Why? Because if you are a follower of Christ, all of that reflects on him?  So here is the million dollar question. Who are the people who are loving you AND challenging you?  Again, this is not the crowd. This isn't’ the people that will take potshots at you and you will never please.  This is your inner circle. Who are they? Who are your people?

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly...  Colossians 3:16

Let the words and the life of Jesus be the basis for all you say and do in your life.    

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom.  Colossians 3:16

In community, we teach each other and what?  We admonish each other. Admonish.  That seems like a really uncomfortable word don’t you think?  Admonish;  advise, urge and warn.  In the life of Jesus follower, we need people who advise us.  People who urge us. People who warn us. People who will embrace us and who will point out our blind spots.  Someone who is willing to do the uncomfortable so we are more like Jesus.

Who is saying this in your life?  “You know, I love you but sometimes your face, it looks like you are mad.  I know you are just thinking, but you need to work on that.” I share that from personal experience because my close friends have said that.  That’s advising. “You know, when we try to give you valid constructive criticism, you get very defensive right away.” That’s a warning. “Hey man, you said you have struggled with lust lately. Are you practicing self-control with your eyes and with your thoughts.”  That’s urging. If you are I are to fully follow Jesus, we need community. We need trusted people that will admonish and speak to our blind spots.  

“Everything of value is uphill.”  John Maxwell.  

I love that quote.  Anything that is worth anything, is challenging.  Anything that will last in this life, doesn’t come easy.  To have true community you have to give someone the trust to help you with your blindspots.  And that, that’s uphill. That value, it’s uncomfortable. So, if that tension does not exist in your life, you have to ask yourself why?  This clearly is Biblical. It’s clearly what helps us grow. It’s how God protects us in life so we don’t get clipped in our blindside and wipe out.  So, if there is not some level of discomfort, then why?

Is it possible that we haven’t taken the time yet to find it?  Is it possible that our defense mechanisms go up each time someone gets close and we pull away?  Why does that discomfort not exist in your life? I remember sitting in a leadership gathering a few years back that pressed into this issue.  They pretty much said that if you are going to be the leader that God has called you to be, then those people have to be in your life. Maybe the people around you love, you but they are afraid of you?  You blow up. You shut down. You get defensive. Maybe they love you but they are yes people? They tell you what you want to hear like Rehoboam’s friends. 

I’ve shared with you over the past few months that as we grow as a church, we are growing our structures and growing our leadership teams.  One of those teams is a group of three guys called “Overseers.” These three men in the picture are Jeff Smith. A long-time friend, pastor, and CEO of Restore Hope.  There is Randy Tomko, again, a personal friend and my pastor early on in ministry. Lastly, Warren Pfohl, a part of us here at Turning Point. Warren was a pastor, is the CEO of David’s Refuge and too is a friend of mine.  

Their primary role, for now, is to be there for me and my family.  They advocate for us financially. They check-in and see how I'm leading Turning Point.  They make sure I’m leading sound financially and spiritually. They love me and have my back, but they also ask hard questions.  “Why do you think you have trust issues?” “Why do you feel so much pressure on how fast Turning Point grows?” “Is there anything morally in your life now that is off?”  Even Jeff one time talked to our kids at dinner. He said, “I want to know what you guys think. Your mom and dad can’t talk right now. How are you guys doing? How is ministry affecting you as kids and affecting your family?”

Those questions can get really challenging and answering them is often difficult.  It has taken me to places outside of my comfort zone. However, this is the best thing for our church so our church lasts.  This is the best thing for my marriage so my marriage lasts. This is the best thing for my kids, so my kids continue to love Jesus and the church no matter what people say about their dad.  I believe this step into community is growing me, will help grow my family and in turn help grow this church. God wants that for you too.  

Why is all of this so important?  Lastly, it leads you to safety.  At the end of the day, if someone is not looking at your blindspot, what happens?  You can get into an accident and something gets mangled. Someone gets hurt.  

My dear friends, if you know people who have wandered off from God’s truth,  James 5:19 (MSG)  

That’s what happens when someone is helping us see our gaps. We wander.  We justify. We walk off.  

...don’t write them off. Go after them. Get them back and you will have rescued precious lives from destruction and prevented an epidemic of wandering away from God.  James 5:19-20 (MSG)

Powerful isn’t it?  Community is the way to rescue us from the brink.  As we close today, my challenge this week is the same as last week.   Give community a chance.  Take a step today.  I believe it is worth the chance because it is what God has wired us for.    Give community your time.   The only way you will receive the wisdom that God has for you is in relationships.  And all good relationships take time. Give community your commitment.   Community is worthwhile but it requires an all-in attitude.  It takes courage and perseverance. 

So the way we do community here at Turning Point is what we call life groups.  A life group is a small group of people, about 8-12 people or so, who meet weekly.  These are people from all different backgrounds. Some are new in their faith and some have known Jesus for a while.  The common ground is that we all want to take the next step in our faith in Christ. These groups meet weekly for about 75-90 minutes.  During that gathering, they eat together, study God’s Word together and build relationships. And guess what? No one has to be perfect.  

No one puts you on the spot.  No one has all the right answers.  It’s a safe place to grow your faith.  

Life groups are not a place where people will get up in your blind spots.  They are not going to show up in your life and tell you what you need to change.  For all of the reasons that we spoke of today, life groups are not where that happens.  However, if you want to have those friends in your life one day, this is a good place to start.  If you want to have people that will walk with you, this is your next step. If you want to know that you can find a safe place to ask questions and to find a group of people that will stand with you, then yes, life groups are for you.  

I’m not asking you to do something I don’t believe in.  Keisa and I are in a group. We ask all of our staff families to be leading or participating in a group.  We challenge all of the people who have taken a step and become a church partner, that is a step you need to take.  We tell our church partners, those who are all in with church to give financially, to serve in some area within the church, to pray for our church and to participate in a life group.  Why? It’s what God has created us for.  

“If you claim to have connected with God but are disconnected from people, you haven’t connected with God. God will never lead you on a journey that leads to isolation.”- Erwin McManus

Let’s close in prayer with that as our last thought today.”